A Story

Hope you all like the new design! Here's a story i wrote during the time that i was still in my old church, but in the midst of deciding to leave. Well, it's not really fiction. It's me describing a beautiful moment that i will hold dear for the rest of my life:

Photo by XxLifeIsOursxX

Yesterday was a hard day. It's kind of been a hard week. one of those weeks when life is heaver then usual. I felt covered in it. Gunked up by the steps the last few days had brought me. It was poring rain outside. It was already dark and i still had a two hour drive ahead of me before i reached home, but the pull was too much. I pulled my car onto a side road hidden by tall trees and got out. The rain ran down the road and pooled around my feet and soaked through my clothing. I closed my eyes and drank it in. I leaned against my car and begged the rain to wash it all away. It's so strange. To think something so physical could reach something so deep. But i begged it still and let it pour into my soul. I breathed in the wet and let it fill my lungs, and then i waited. The water wet my hair and pooled down my face. It rushed down the bank of the pavement and curled against my shoes. My clothes pulled in the rain and let it run down my arms and back. I faced the heavens and closed my eyes and was enveloped by the rain.

The storm slowed to a drizzle and i breathed a sad sigh. I couldn't really expect the rain to wash away the years. I couldn't expect it to wipe away all my mistakes and heal my life. I wanted it to. I wanted it to keep raining until everything was washed away. To leave everything at the side of the bank. I can still smell it. The earth and the mist. The wet air that filled my lungs and made my hair cling to my neck. It smelled like redemption. But it didn't fill. It didn't wash me clean like it promised. It cleansed my skin and soaked my soul, but it couldn't reach deep enough. It couldn't reach down to the core of who i am. Of who i didn't want to be.